Consultation on Singles

Earlier today my son and I went out for a short ride on our single bikes. It has been fruitful for me to think about how to distribute our time on the bikes between tandem rides and single rides. He is a young teenager so I think a lot about how to balance promoting his independence and riding together. He's a pretty good rider in his own right, but on our singles we can't go too far and I'm still not really comfortable with his riding on Baltimore streets. On the tandems we can go about 4-5 times as far and really go anywhere we want to. Certainly riding his own bike makes him a better stoker when we do go out on a tandem. Honestly, though, I'm just grateful he likes riding with me in either capacity as much as he does.

The bikes are a good place for the two of us to have discussions that could become contentious. A tandem is especially good for this because we always stay the same distance apart so it's easy to have a conversation. On the singles it takes a little more effort to stay together so that we can talk without shouting. Tonight we're having a family meeting to talk about a possible change, which could be significant, so our ride this morning was a good opportunity to give him a heads up. He and I both benefit from having a little time to mull things over before we have to take action. In particular, we haven't had much success when we spring things on each other. He took the news well today and raised some good questions that I hope he'll raise again tonight. If only we had a quad--Santana and Co-motion I would happily write about family dynamics on a family bike if you're reading. Actually, we do have a Bike Friday triplet that I ride sometimes with my wife and daughter, but it's currently set up in tandem mode for rides with only my daughter. 

I have some hypotheses about why the bikes are the best place for my son and I to talk, but I don't know that they are clear enough in my head to write about. I may get more clarity about that as I think more about how my ideas on parenting in general have shifted.


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